Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
