god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
