So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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