maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He has the fingertips of a God
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
