i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
