wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
