apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
