you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
