What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
