I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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