i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
smell my finger.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
