Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
