She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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