very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
