do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
