i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
