I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
