Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
