The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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