I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
