Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
