meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
