he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
