So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
