If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
