And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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