With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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