But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
