Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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