I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
