it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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