You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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