Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
