I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
worst night to have a conscience
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were destined to go to rehab together
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
