look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
