Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just forgot I was standing up.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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