Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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