Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
