And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
high people should be assigned attendants
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
