It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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