I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
