Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
