Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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