distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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