Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Congratulations! We have a period
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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