@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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