She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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