Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
