R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
