well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
